[ He's not so selfless as Pure Vanilla. There will always be part of him that wants them to be with him even if it is horrible out here. The idea of being alone here is... he doesn't want to think about it.
That's not a promise Pure Vanilla can keep. They proved as much last month. But for now he can let himself believe that lie. Hopefully he at least wouldn't walk into death so willingly next time.
The child sniffled as Pure Vanilla wrapped his arms around him. It's comforting, safe, but the ache remains. Not all pain can be patched over with good intent, after all. This is a band-aid on a bullet wound, but it was enough for now. ]
( Gently, fingers reach to brush away tears. He cannot promise that he will always remain with him. He knew before he had settled into this world - there isn't a way to predict how long one would stay before leaving so suddenly.
But, he never wants Pavlova to be alone. )
I will be with you as long as I am able to do so. And even if things were to change... there are many who care for so many others here.
But, for now - I shall do everything I can to ease any loneliness that you feel at this very moment.
[ The bar is on the ground, honestly. He doesn't take loss very well. He stills so Pure Vanilla can wipe his tears, but something bothers him a little bit... ]
Aren't... you upset too?
[ He loves them both, it has to be distressing, right? Is he overreacting? ]
( It does hurt. It hurts, knowing that they went through pain. It hurts knowing that there’s nothing that he, a healer, can do to help ease it. And yet, it is not uncommon for Pure Vanilla to leave his regrets and pain to himself. And, Pavlova Cookie… he was in pain.
But, would it make it worse if he didn’t voice his concerns? His pain? He doesn’t want him to feel alone.
He stops for a moment, growing silent. )
I—
Never wish for those I care about to be in pain. And while I wish for nothing more than to see them again, they would not want for you or I to be in pain.
Even so, I… want to see them again. I regret that I could not help them in time…
You don't have it in you to be selfish about this, do you?
[ And maybe that sounds bitter, but only because he can't understand not being upset by something like this. Not feeling that bitterness of having been left behind. Or maybe he just doesn't want to show him that side of himself. ]
Regardless of what they wanted, it's what happened. You're allowed to be hurt, I think. But what do I know...
Do you think so? No matter how much I long for them to be safe, there is a part of me that still wants to see them again.
( And that in itself is what is selfish. )
I am certain that there is much that you wish to say. In the past, when White Lily Cookie and I parted ways, I often wrote my feelings in a letter. Perhaps... until they return, writing your feelings somewhere may help.
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(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-19 04:19 am (UTC)That's not a promise Pure Vanilla can keep. They proved as much last month. But for now he can let himself believe that lie. Hopefully he at least wouldn't walk into death so willingly next time.
The child sniffled as Pure Vanilla wrapped his arms around him. It's comforting, safe, but the ache remains. Not all pain can be patched over with good intent, after all. This is a band-aid on a bullet wound, but it was enough for now. ]
Pure Vanilla Cookie...?
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-19 06:02 am (UTC)But, he never wants Pavlova to be alone. )
I will be with you as long as I am able to do so. And even if things were to change... there are many who care for so many others here.
But, for now - I shall do everything I can to ease any loneliness that you feel at this very moment.
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-19 06:32 am (UTC)[ The bar is on the ground, honestly. He doesn't take loss very well. He stills so Pure Vanilla can wipe his tears, but something bothers him a little bit... ]
Aren't... you upset too?
[ He loves them both, it has to be distressing, right? Is he overreacting? ]
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-19 06:09 pm (UTC)But, would it make it worse if he didn’t voice his concerns? His pain? He doesn’t want him to feel alone.
He stops for a moment, growing silent. )
I—
Never wish for those I care about to be in pain. And while I wish for nothing more than to see them again, they would not want for you or I to be in pain.
Even so, I… want to see them again. I regret that I could not help them in time…
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-22 03:44 am (UTC)You don't have it in you to be selfish about this, do you?
[ And maybe that sounds bitter, but only because he can't understand not being upset by something like this. Not feeling that bitterness of having been left behind. Or maybe he just doesn't want to show him that side of himself. ]
Regardless of what they wanted, it's what happened. You're allowed to be hurt, I think. But what do I know...
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-22 05:50 am (UTC)( And that in itself is what is selfish. )
I am certain that there is much that you wish to say. In the past, when White Lily Cookie and I parted ways, I often wrote my feelings in a letter. Perhaps... until they return, writing your feelings somewhere may help.