( He awakens, and everything that had happened flashes before his eyes as though it was nothing more than a bad dream. But, he remembers the pain. He remembers weakly begging Pavlova Cookie not to end it for him. It had happened in an instant, and Pavlova's actions were so cold and calculated, as if it had not been the first. Even in all of his pain, he could register at least that much.
But, he ignores any tiredness he feels (dying is indeed as exhausting as one thinks) and begins to make his way to the inn. He takes more caution than what may be deemed normal this time, should there be any threatening growth that he might stumble upon. However, he thinks better of it quickly enough. He needs to let White Lily know he's alright. He needs to check on Pavlova Cookie. He needs to apologize to Shadow Milk, who had warned him the most out of all of them.
He wants to make sure that Elder Faerie had returned.
He begins to write then, listening for his surrounding in case something were to move that seemed unnatural as he does so. )
( the moment his handwriting appears, she drops the book and runs to find silent salt cookie- takes him by the arm and points outside, begging him to find pure vanilla and come back safely.
only after that does her own handwriting appear- )
( His heart both sinks and swells when he hears from White Lily. He feels an immense amount of relief and guilt. He has much to apologize for -- one that will need more than words.
A part of him doesn't want to burden someone with the danger, but he knows White Lily -- trusts her. She'd never ask someone to come if they couldn't defend themselves. )
White Lily Cookie! I am so relieved to hear from you, my flower.
I shall wait where I am now. There is still some ways before I reach the inn.
( Once Silent Salt finds him, they make their way back to the inn. White Lily may very well hear Pure Vanilla's footsteps as he enters. )
( There's no hesitance to return that hug - firm yet gentle. It's only when her grip loosens that he pulls away, and in what sign language he's been able to learn, he communicates with her. )
You have my deepest apologies. I never wished to cause you pain.
( It's not the same. None of this is the same as it was in Earthbread. Pure Vanilla and White Lily have always had something in common, though; the both of them would go to great lengths if it meant helping others. )
I had thought that attempting to heal the growth would have helped, and yet... that was my error. I still believe a cure can be found, however it must be done without touching those who had been affected.
I promise, I shall do what I can to take further caution in the future.
( He reaches then to take both of her hands into his, an earnest look settling on his face. )
If... one is quick enough, it can be removed physically. It is not a pleasant process, though. Beyond that... ... you have seen first hand how quick it is to act.
( how quickly it becomes hopeless.
of course she wants to believe that there could be a way- but without magic, she's not sure they can find it.
after a moment, she just leans against him. )
... Please, don't leave me again. I beg of you. I can't bury you another time.
I have hopes that we can find something to far less painless. There is already far too much to worry about in this world. If there is something that can be done to lessen that, then... I wish to find it.
( He brings one of her hands to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to knuckles before speaking once more. )
I won't leave you again, not as long as I can prevent it.
[Someone is ...taking this month poorly. Between his son and Pure Vanilla getting themselves killed in the most laughably horrific ways, despite everything he tried to do to keep them safe, no, there was a point he simply holed himself up in his old Inn room away from everyone to just not think, or do, or see anything.]
[If he destroyed some of the furniture when the impulse struck him, then sure.]
[He can't help a peek, though. His beholders are everywhere now. He catches sight of him eventually and then thinks to check the netbook.]
( He can only imagine what's waiting for him once he arrives in the inn, but he's certain it's nothing he can't handle. At this time, he's waiting for Silent Salt to reach him.
But, he finds that he feels relief from hearing from him. Despite knowing -- despite feeling it in his very core that Shadow Milk was alright, it's different from simply knowing.
The comment was from his other half... rightfully made. )
[Pure Vanilla has a way with words. Words that hone in on getting under his skin in some way without him apparently meaning to, (Or maybe he did, how would he know!!) For a moment, Pure Vanilla feels a pang from their Soul Jam, a burst of confusing and violent emotion. Anguish and anger. The connection quickly goes quiet after, like Shadow Milk had snapped the line shut.]
[It's a while before he responds again.]
I'm not. Go back into the woods, you clearly care more about it than listening to me.
[ Looking at the netbook is about all he can do after his own return, but he still leaves it alone to give Pure Vanilla and the others space. He hides in his room for a few days before he can move enough to stumble down the stairs and sit by the fire. It's cold, especially since he's really not that used to cold weather, but the fire helped.
Call him a coward, he hides a little whe he hears Pure Vanilla approach, withdrawing into a blanket ]
( she can't hear what he's saying, but... she's sure she can tell what it is already. his gentle compassion would drive him to the ends of the earth, she knows.
there's a part of her that wants to be mad at how sweet he's being. but she can't bring herself to. all she can do is accept it, because anything less would burn. )
... I'll cry if you do. And who knows what will happen then?
( By the time Shadow Milk responds to Pure Vanilla again, he's on the way back to the inn, being escorted safely (though, they can protect one another, he's sure of it). He can feel such strong emotions from Shadow Milk, but perhaps Shadow Milk can feel the regret he feels -- from leaving him, for dying again. )
I cannot turn away from others who need aid.
Even so, I cannot apologize enough. It was never my intention to leave again.
[And yet, if he truly regretted, wouldn't he have listened? Shadow Milk hates it, hates that he's not surprised and yet here he is, constantly having his heart torn in two over this fucking cookie.]
Save it. It doesn't matter how sorry you say you are, you'll just keep doing it. Going out and getting yourself killed for nothing was clearly more important to you than not hurting the people you leave behind.
( Pure Vanilla and the others have been letting Pavlova rest. He has so much to say to him, and yet -- he knows that it needs to wait. He wants to thank him. He wants to apologize profusely to him.
He wants to make sure that he's alright.
He doesn't fail to notice when Palova Cookie hides a little more into his blanket when he begins to make his way downstairs. Gripping his staff with both hands, he speaks gently -- quietly. He wants to reassure him that it's alright. )
I'm happy to see that you are alright, Pavlova Cookie.
( He pulls away just enough to hold her hand again in his, offering a small smile. The idea of White Lily crying is painful to think about, but it does seem as though things have cooled down a little... )
I would do what I could to ease your burdens.
( He squeezes her hand before stopping for a moment. As happy as he is to see her unharmed--
There are some things that he is concerned about, too. He doesn't know how long he's been gone for at this point in time. )
White Lily Cookie, have you heard from Elder Faerie Cookie and Pavlova Cookie?
( He knows. No matter how unintentional, he knows how he's hurt him. At the least, he's stepping inside of the inn now. Shadow Milk may very well feel that connection grow stronger. )
( A breath that he hadn't been aware that he had been holding escapes him, and he nods a little. )
Understood. While we take shelter, I will do what I can to further our research on those roots.
( Rest can wait. This was an emergency. )
... But beforehand, I wish to speak to the both of them. ( He looks away for a moment, though he's not looking at anything in particular. ) I... regret that I could not do more to help the both of them.
( Pavlova Cookie in particular. He's so worried. After what had happened, he has so much he wants to say and ask him. )
You had no intention of leaving before and you still did it anyway!
[Pure Vanilla will hear the sound of something crashing in the room. Shadow Milk likely tossing some piece of furniture.]
Every time I try to keep you close, you just leave me! Why!?
[For all his anger, it should be clear from the way his voice shakes that he's more upset than anything. That lashing out like this is the only way he knows how to cope with it.]
( He steps closer. There's no hesitance, no fear in his expression as he does so, and he gently reaches for his hands. It's okay if he pulls away. It's okay if he pushes him away. He just wants him to know that he's here. )
It was never my intention to leave you. ( He begins softly. ) Even so, I know that it is not something easily forgivable.
I... cannot simply ignore others who need aid. Though, I know I cannot simply ask for forgiveness for what has been done, but you and I -
Is this not proof that no matter what were to happen, we would find one another again?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
after the january event (cw death/murder mentions)
Date: 2026-02-01 02:40 am (UTC)But, he ignores any tiredness he feels (dying is indeed as exhausting as one thinks) and begins to make his way to the inn. He takes more caution than what may be deemed normal this time, should there be any threatening growth that he might stumble upon. However, he thinks better of it quickly enough. He needs to let White Lily know he's alright. He needs to check on Pavlova Cookie. He needs to apologize to Shadow Milk, who had warned him the most out of all of them.
He wants to make sure that Elder Faerie had returned.
He begins to write then, listening for his surrounding in case something were to move that seemed unnatural as he does so. )
Is everyone unharmed?
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-01 02:52 am (UTC)only after that does her own handwriting appear- )
I'm sending help.
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-01 02:59 am (UTC)A part of him doesn't want to burden someone with the danger, but he knows White Lily -- trusts her. She'd never ask someone to come if they couldn't defend themselves. )
White Lily Cookie! I am so relieved to hear from you, my flower.
I shall wait where I am now. There is still some ways before I reach the inn.
( Once Silent Salt finds him, they make their way back to the inn. White Lily may very well hear Pure Vanilla's footsteps as he enters. )
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-01 03:04 am (UTC)Oh thank dough-
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-01 03:08 am (UTC)You have my deepest apologies. I never wished to cause you pain.
I will do whatever I can to make it up to you.
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-01 03:21 am (UTC)( she wants to beg and cry and yell. but she can't bring herself to. especially when she ultimately... did the same to so many others.
she'd been told not to go to the witch's banquet, after all.
but... is this the same thing? is it... )
... Please, I will never stop you from helping people... but... in the future, please, listen to us. We all know we are powerless right now... I...
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-01 03:33 am (UTC)I had thought that attempting to heal the growth would have helped, and yet... that was my error. I still believe a cure can be found, however it must be done without touching those who had been affected.
I promise, I shall do what I can to take further caution in the future.
( He reaches then to take both of her hands into his, an earnest look settling on his face. )
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-01 05:55 am (UTC)( how quickly it becomes hopeless.
of course she wants to believe that there could be a way- but without magic, she's not sure they can find it.
after a moment, she just leans against him. )
... Please, don't leave me again. I beg of you. I can't bury you another time.
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-01 06:22 am (UTC)( He brings one of her hands to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to knuckles before speaking once more. )
I won't leave you again, not as long as I can prevent it.
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-01 07:11 am (UTC)[If he destroyed some of the furniture when the impulse struck him, then sure.]
[He can't help a peek, though. His beholders are everywhere now. He catches sight of him eventually and then thinks to check the netbook.]
Fool.
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-01 07:38 am (UTC)But, he finds that he feels relief from hearing from him. Despite knowing -- despite feeling it in his very core that Shadow Milk was alright, it's different from simply knowing.
The comment was from his other half... rightfully made. )
I am grateful to hear from you.
( He's so glad that he's safe. )
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-01 08:30 am (UTC)[It's a while before he responds again.]
I'm not. Go back into the woods, you clearly care more about it than listening to me.
Let's say a day or two after, since pav would be stiff
Date: 2026-02-01 02:38 pm (UTC)Call him a coward, he hides a little whe he hears Pure Vanilla approach, withdrawing into a blanket ]
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-01 07:25 pm (UTC)there's a part of her that wants to be mad at how sweet he's being. but she can't bring herself to. all she can do is accept it, because anything less would burn. )
... I'll cry if you do. And who knows what will happen then?
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-01 09:24 pm (UTC)I cannot turn away from others who need aid.
Even so, I cannot apologize enough. It was never my intention to leave again.
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-01 09:39 pm (UTC)Save it. It doesn't matter how sorry you say you are, you'll just keep doing it. Going out and getting yourself killed for nothing was clearly more important to you than not hurting the people you leave behind.
baby boy...
Date: 2026-02-01 09:53 pm (UTC)He wants to make sure that he's alright.
He doesn't fail to notice when Palova Cookie hides a little more into his blanket when he begins to make his way downstairs. Gripping his staff with both hands, he speaks gently -- quietly. He wants to reassure him that it's alright. )
I'm happy to see that you are alright, Pavlova Cookie.
May we talk?
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-01 10:30 pm (UTC)I would do what I could to ease your burdens.
( He squeezes her hand before stopping for a moment. As happy as he is to see her unharmed--
There are some things that he is concerned about, too. He doesn't know how long he's been gone for at this point in time. )
White Lily Cookie, have you heard from Elder Faerie Cookie and Pavlova Cookie?
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-01 10:42 pm (UTC)Elder Faerie Cookie and Pavlova Cookie are both here, yes. Don't worry. No one's allowed to go back out there, understood?
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-01 11:13 pm (UTC)Please, let us speak face-to-face.
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-01 11:19 pm (UTC)LEAVE ME ALONE
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-01 11:37 pm (UTC)Understood. While we take shelter, I will do what I can to further our research on those roots.
( Rest can wait. This was an emergency. )
... But beforehand, I wish to speak to the both of them. ( He looks away for a moment, though he's not looking at anything in particular. ) I... regret that I could not do more to help the both of them.
( Pavlova Cookie in particular. He's so worried. After what had happened, he has so much he wants to say and ask him. )
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-01 11:56 pm (UTC)Please, you do not have to push me away.
I know I had disappeared, yet... I am here now. I have no intention of leaving.
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-02 12:05 am (UTC)[Pure Vanilla will hear the sound of something crashing in the room. Shadow Milk likely tossing some piece of furniture.]
Every time I try to keep you close, you just leave me! Why!?
[For all his anger, it should be clear from the way his voice shakes that he's more upset than anything. That lashing out like this is the only way he knows how to cope with it.]
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-02 12:42 am (UTC)It was never my intention to leave you. ( He begins softly. ) Even so, I know that it is not something easily forgivable.
I... cannot simply ignore others who need aid. Though, I know I cannot simply ask for forgiveness for what has been done, but you and I -
Is this not proof that no matter what were to happen, we would find one another again?