( He can only imagine what's waiting for him once he arrives in the inn, but he's certain it's nothing he can't handle. At this time, he's waiting for Silent Salt to reach him.
But, he finds that he feels relief from hearing from him. Despite knowing -- despite feeling it in his very core that Shadow Milk was alright, it's different from simply knowing.
The comment was from his other half... rightfully made. )
[Pure Vanilla has a way with words. Words that hone in on getting under his skin in some way without him apparently meaning to, (Or maybe he did, how would he know!!) For a moment, Pure Vanilla feels a pang from their Soul Jam, a burst of confusing and violent emotion. Anguish and anger. The connection quickly goes quiet after, like Shadow Milk had snapped the line shut.]
[It's a while before he responds again.]
I'm not. Go back into the woods, you clearly care more about it than listening to me.
( By the time Shadow Milk responds to Pure Vanilla again, he's on the way back to the inn, being escorted safely (though, they can protect one another, he's sure of it). He can feel such strong emotions from Shadow Milk, but perhaps Shadow Milk can feel the regret he feels -- from leaving him, for dying again. )
I cannot turn away from others who need aid.
Even so, I cannot apologize enough. It was never my intention to leave again.
[And yet, if he truly regretted, wouldn't he have listened? Shadow Milk hates it, hates that he's not surprised and yet here he is, constantly having his heart torn in two over this fucking cookie.]
Save it. It doesn't matter how sorry you say you are, you'll just keep doing it. Going out and getting yourself killed for nothing was clearly more important to you than not hurting the people you leave behind.
( He knows. No matter how unintentional, he knows how he's hurt him. At the least, he's stepping inside of the inn now. Shadow Milk may very well feel that connection grow stronger. )
You had no intention of leaving before and you still did it anyway!
[Pure Vanilla will hear the sound of something crashing in the room. Shadow Milk likely tossing some piece of furniture.]
Every time I try to keep you close, you just leave me! Why!?
[For all his anger, it should be clear from the way his voice shakes that he's more upset than anything. That lashing out like this is the only way he knows how to cope with it.]
( He steps closer. There's no hesitance, no fear in his expression as he does so, and he gently reaches for his hands. It's okay if he pulls away. It's okay if he pushes him away. He just wants him to know that he's here. )
It was never my intention to leave you. ( He begins softly. ) Even so, I know that it is not something easily forgivable.
I... cannot simply ignore others who need aid. Though, I know I cannot simply ask for forgiveness for what has been done, but you and I -
Is this not proof that no matter what were to happen, we would find one another again?
[Vanilla gets to keep one hand, but the other pulls away so he can try and cover his face. He clenches his jaw tight, sharp teeth grinding against each other as he sucks in a breath and tries desperate to hold down that's trying to force its way out of him.]
[It comes out anyway, the choked sob.]
I'm in need of aid, so stop-
[His hand pulls away from him so he can drag it through his hair, a tell tale sign he's about to rake it through skin.]
He can feel that pain, the loneliness through his very soul, and Pure Vanilla responds without thinking. He pushes himself forward, wrapping his arms around the other in an embrace. He holds him close, fingers moving to card through hair. )
I'm here.
( It's said so gently, so quietly. He hates that he's caused so much pain. He hates that his other half is in so much pain. Perhaps Shadow Milk can feel that quiet desperation that he feels. )
[What a unique hell he's found himself in, after he spent so long torturing this cookie, twisting his soul, sinking claws into him while he cried out and tried to pull him to pieces. Tried to break him. He did anything to draw Vanilla down with him-]
[So, how fitting that now every waking thought of his is haunted by this cookie, by the fear of losing him. By how much his love hurts him, the fear, the anguish. And yet, all he can do is give in. Open himself back up again and sink into his light once more until the next time he's ripped away from him.]
[He lets go the moment Vanilla has wrapped around him, feels like his heart had been lanced like an infected wound and finally he can release all that pain. It seeps out of him as his weight leans against him. Instead he clings to him with everything he is and wails quietly into his robes.]
( He cries, and Pure Vanilla feels his heart sink, pulling him all the more closely. He feels so fragile compared to when the both of them had just met. Being here, forming bonds and losing them -- they may have opened old wounds of loneliness that he had once had in the past, and even more so in Pure Vanilla's present.
He can't forget the pain that he had endured in the Spire of Deceit, and yet he had forgiven him long before now, before even waking up in this new, strange world. No, even before then... He had known the both of them had shared an irreplacable, special bond no matter what relationship they shared.
He pulls away, just enough to kiss the other's forehead gently -- only for his lips to find the other's in a chaste, brief kiss.
[His heart skips, and for a moment, he isn't sure what happened. He blinks, eyes unseeing, (his staff lay somewhere in the room, pointed up towards the ceiling), tear stained though they are. He knows the feeling of his lips, the taste of him, and his heart lurches again.]
[What had been tentative and gentle from Vanilla comes almost desperate and longing from Shadow Milk. Clumsily he comes forward, hands searching for him, for his face so that he can close the distance.]
[He misses at first, brushing against his chin, then the corner of his mouth, but he finds him, and kisses him like he's wanted to for months.]
( At first, Pure Vanilla wonders if he should guide Shadow Milk, but it seems like he finds his lips again and it almost feels like something snaps -- falls into place. He pulls away for only a moment to tilt his head, finding that the kiss between them comes easier.
He doesn't know the relationship the both of them had once shared with one another here once before. Perhaps they shared a closeness like this, perhaps they were close in another way entirely. Yet, there's nothing about this that doesn't feel right to him.
What he's certain of is that, at this moment, his heart feels full. Hand that was carding through hair wraps around the other. )
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-01 07:38 am (UTC)But, he finds that he feels relief from hearing from him. Despite knowing -- despite feeling it in his very core that Shadow Milk was alright, it's different from simply knowing.
The comment was from his other half... rightfully made. )
I am grateful to hear from you.
( He's so glad that he's safe. )
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-01 08:30 am (UTC)[It's a while before he responds again.]
I'm not. Go back into the woods, you clearly care more about it than listening to me.
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-01 09:24 pm (UTC)I cannot turn away from others who need aid.
Even so, I cannot apologize enough. It was never my intention to leave again.
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-01 09:39 pm (UTC)Save it. It doesn't matter how sorry you say you are, you'll just keep doing it. Going out and getting yourself killed for nothing was clearly more important to you than not hurting the people you leave behind.
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-01 11:13 pm (UTC)Please, let us speak face-to-face.
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-01 11:19 pm (UTC)LEAVE ME ALONE
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-01 11:56 pm (UTC)Please, you do not have to push me away.
I know I had disappeared, yet... I am here now. I have no intention of leaving.
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-02 12:05 am (UTC)[Pure Vanilla will hear the sound of something crashing in the room. Shadow Milk likely tossing some piece of furniture.]
Every time I try to keep you close, you just leave me! Why!?
[For all his anger, it should be clear from the way his voice shakes that he's more upset than anything. That lashing out like this is the only way he knows how to cope with it.]
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-02 12:42 am (UTC)It was never my intention to leave you. ( He begins softly. ) Even so, I know that it is not something easily forgivable.
I... cannot simply ignore others who need aid. Though, I know I cannot simply ask for forgiveness for what has been done, but you and I -
Is this not proof that no matter what were to happen, we would find one another again?
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-03 05:22 pm (UTC)[It comes out anyway, the choked sob.]
I'm in need of aid, so stop-
[His hand pulls away from him so he can drag it through his hair, a tell tale sign he's about to rake it through skin.]
Don't leave.
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-04 08:12 am (UTC)He can feel that pain, the loneliness through his very soul, and Pure Vanilla responds without thinking. He pushes himself forward, wrapping his arms around the other in an embrace. He holds him close, fingers moving to card through hair. )
I'm here.
( It's said so gently, so quietly. He hates that he's caused so much pain. He hates that his other half is in so much pain. Perhaps Shadow Milk can feel that quiet desperation that he feels. )
I am not going anywhere, so please--
Do not hurt yourself anymore.
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-05 02:06 am (UTC)[So, how fitting that now every waking thought of his is haunted by this cookie, by the fear of losing him. By how much his love hurts him, the fear, the anguish. And yet, all he can do is give in. Open himself back up again and sink into his light once more until the next time he's ripped away from him.]
[He lets go the moment Vanilla has wrapped around him, feels like his heart had been lanced like an infected wound and finally he can release all that pain. It seeps out of him as his weight leans against him. Instead he clings to him with everything he is and wails quietly into his robes.]
[Don't go. Please, don't go.]
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-07 11:11 pm (UTC)He can't forget the pain that he had endured in the Spire of Deceit, and yet he had forgiven him long before now, before even waking up in this new, strange world. No, even before then... He had known the both of them had shared an irreplacable, special bond no matter what relationship they shared.
He pulls away, just enough to kiss the other's forehead gently -- only for his lips to find the other's in a chaste, brief kiss.
I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. )
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-07 11:38 pm (UTC)[What had been tentative and gentle from Vanilla comes almost desperate and longing from Shadow Milk. Clumsily he comes forward, hands searching for him, for his face so that he can close the distance.]
[He misses at first, brushing against his chin, then the corner of his mouth, but he finds him, and kisses him like he's wanted to for months.]
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-08 12:14 am (UTC)He doesn't know the relationship the both of them had once shared with one another here once before. Perhaps they shared a closeness like this, perhaps they were close in another way entirely. Yet, there's nothing about this that doesn't feel right to him.
What he's certain of is that, at this moment, his heart feels full. Hand that was carding through hair wraps around the other. )